Ceremony Moments

Making the heart of your wedding feel like you.

The ceremony is often the part couples feel most nervous about. You’re suddenly the centre of attention, with everyone watching, and it can feel like you need to do things “the proper way.”

The truth is, unless you’re getting married in a church where rules are stricter, you’ve got more freedom than you might imagine. Registrars are more relaxed than ever about letting you bring personality into the moment, and celebrants can make it even more personal.

Do we have to follow a strict script?

Not at all. Civil ceremonies are surprisingly flexible. As long as you cover the legal words, you can add readings, music, or even short introductions that make the ceremony feel more like yours.

Some couples invite a friend to do a “story of us” reading, others slip in personal touches like inside jokes or a nod to their shared interests.

What about churches?

Church ceremonies are usually more traditional, and you’ll need to stick to certain rules.

That said, even there you can often include readings or music that reflect you as a couple. It’s worth chatting with the officiant to see what’s possible.

How can we make guests feel connected to us?

Think of the ceremony as a way to introduce everyone to your relationship.

Not all your guests will know both of you equally, and some may even be there as a plus-one.

Using this time to share why you’re all gathered—whether through readings, a celebrant, or even a few words from the registrar—helps everyone feel part of the story.

It’s also a lovely way of explaining why the tables are named after planets, mountains, or your favourite beaches.

What should we do about nerves?

Almost everyone feels nervous walking in, but once it starts, you just need to lean into it.

For one day you get to play the roles of “bride” or “groom” and immerse yourself in that character.

Even if you’re usually shy, it can be fun to step into that spotlight knowing you’ve got a whole crowd rooting for you.

One couple I worked with were dreading their ceremony. Both hated public speaking and worried they’d look awkward. Instead of pushing through a rigid script, they invited a friend to tell the story of how they met, complete with a few gentle jokes.

The whole room laughed, the couple relaxed, and the photos show them genuinely smiling and enjoying themselves. Afterwards, they told me it felt less like being “on show” and more like sharing a moment with friends.

Here are a few reminders as you plan your ceremony:

• Civil ceremonies are flexible—make the most of it

• Churches are stricter, but there’s still room for personal touches

• Think about adding a reading or short story to help guests connect

• Choose music that reflects you, not just tradition

• Don’t worry about nerves—everyone is there to support you

If you only remember one thing, let it be this: your ceremony is the first chapter of your wedding day story.

Forget the photographer, forget the nerves—just embrace the moment. You’ll look back on it for the rest of your life as the defining memory of the day.